Squall's Bad Day
by Coraline Pratchett
Summary: Squall's suffering from the worst kind of deja vu, a bad day that won't stop repeating itself...
1. Part 1

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A/N: This is a parody of the movie Groundhog's Day, in which the main character is forced to live the same day over and over.The first day's kinda slow, but it picks up. 

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Disclaimer: I do not, nor ever will, own Final Fantasy 8. I also do not own the movie Groundhog's Day.

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Squall's Bad Day

Day 1

(Balamb Garden, Squall's dorm. Rinoa is standing beside Squall's bed where he lays sleeping.)

RINOA: (gently shaking Squall) Squall… Squall… Wake up. Something tells me today is going to be a great day!

(Squall opens his eyes.)

RINOA: Come on Squall, you can't sleep all day. Lets go to the Library together!

SQUALL: (mumbling sleepily) Yeah, sure… I'll meet you there.

RINOA: Alright, Squall. Don't be too long. Bye!

(Rinoa leaves and Squall falls back asleep.)

(A few hours later…)

(Squall feels himself being shaken awake again, this time roughly.)

SQUALL: Quit it, Rinoa. 

QUISTIS: Squall! Get up! 

(Squall opens his eyes and sits up.)

SQUALL: Quistis? Oh, no! I forgot to meet Rinoa!

QUISTIS: Squall, I have some bad news. Somehow, a Galbadian soldier got into the Garden. He killed Rinoa outside the Library. I'm so sorry.

SQUALL: ……Oh, God.

(Later that night.)

(Squall and Selphie are sitting on Squall's bed.)

SELPHIE: (gently) Squall, try to get some rest. You'll see, things will be better tomorrow. Trust me.

(Selphie leaves and Squall climbs under his covers fully dressed.)

SQUALL: (thinking) I wish there was some way I could see Rinoa one last time…

(falls asleep)

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Day 2

(Balamb Garden, Squall's dorm. Rinoa is standing beside Squall's bed where he lays sleeping.)

RINOA: (gently shaking Squall) Squall… Squall… Wake up. Something tells me today is going to be a great day!

(Squall's eyes open. He looks at Rinoa in shock.)

RINOA: Come on Squall, you can't sleep all day. Lets go to the Library together!

(Squall jumps out of bed and hugs Rinoa.)

SQUALL: (thinking) She's alive! It was only a dream!

(Rinoa looks down at Squall's boxers and giggles.)

RINOA: You better get dressed if we're going to go to the Library.

SQUALL: Rinoa, why don't we get some breakfast in the Cafeteria first?

RINOA: Okay, Squall.

SQUALL: (thinking) Better safe than sorry…

(cut to Cafeteria)

(Squall and Rinoa see Zell sitting at a table with a huge tray of hotdogs. Zell waves them over.)

RINOA: (looking at Zell's tray) Zell, are you seriously going to eat those for breakfast?

ZELL: (matter-of-factly) Of course! These are Balamb hotdogs. They're just full of proteins and vitamins. A great way to start the day.

SQUALL: I didn't even think they served hotdogs until lunch.

ZELL: Well, they don't really, but by the time I get here they're always gone. So, today I bribed the lunch lady to give me some. (proudly takes a bit of a hotdog)

RINOA: Pretty tricky, Zell. What are your plans for today? Squall and I- (cut off by Zell.)

ZELL: (coughing) S-s-something… is wrong…with the hotdogs…h-help.

(Zell falls on the floor. Rinoa kneels down beside Zell.)

RINOA: Squall! Zell's dead!

(Quistis runs into the Cafeteria.)

QUISTIS: Squall, Xu just caught a Galbadian assassin outside the Library! He confessed to poisoning the hotdog supply! We have to get rid of them. It's a good thing we don't serve them till lunch. (sees Zell on the floor.) Oh, shit.

(Later that night.)

(Squall and Selphie are sitting on Squall's bed.)

SELPHIE: (gently) Squall, try to get some rest. You'll see, things will be better tomorrow. Trust me.

(Selphie leaves and Squall climbs under his covers.)

SQUALL: (thinking) First Rinoa, now Zell… What the hell is happening?!

(falls asleep)

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Day 3

(Once again, Balamb Garden, Squall's dorm. Rinoa is standing beside Squall's bed where he lays sleeping.)

RINOA: (gently shaking Squall) Squall… Squall… Wake up. Something tells me today is going to be a great day!

(Squall jumps out of bed.)

SQUALL: Let me guess, you want to go to the Library.

RINOA: (surprised) Wow, you really do know me! (gives Squall a kiss) We must be soul mates.

SQUALL: Lets go.

RINOA: Squall, you're still in your boxers!

(Squall grabs Rinoa's hand and drags her into the hallway.)

(cut to Cafeteria entrance.)

(Irvine and Selphie walk up to Squall.)

IRVINE: Ahem. Squall, man, you really should cover up. They might kick you out of Garden for walking around like that.

SELPHIE: Tee-hee! I can see your goodies!

IRVINE: I won't tell you what to do, but you should consider pants.

SQUALL: (mumbling) I don't have time for this.

IRVINE: Well, I'll be practicing in the Training Center if you need my services.

(Irvine tips his hat and walks off.)

SELPHIE: And I'll be with Dr. Kadowaki. She's got the coolest new laptop. I'm going to play on the Internet and make tons of friends!

(Selphie runs off and Squall pulls Rinoa into the Cafeteria.)

(cut to Cafeteria)

(Zell is about to take a bite of his hotdog. Squall runs over and slaps it out of his hand. He dumps the rest of the tray on the floor and stomps on the hotdogs.)

ZELL: Freakin' hell! Have you lost your mind?!

(Everyone in the Cafeteria turns to watch.)

ZELL: You could have had one, Squall!

(Squall and Rinoa sit down with Zell.)

ZELL: Damn. I'll go get us some oatmeal.

(Zell joins the Cafeteria line. Rinoa looks over at Squall.)

RINOA: You seem very happy with yourself.

SQUALL: (leans back in chair) I am.

(A very faint explosion can be heard. Quistis runs into the Cafeteria.)

QUISTIS: Squall, I have some important news! Xu caught a Galbadian soldier outside the Library. And Irvine's gun malfunctioned! It blew up and killed him! (does a double-take on Squall) Are you in your underwear!?

(Later that night.)

(Squall and Selphie are sitting on Squall's bed.)

SELPHIE: (gently) Squall, try to get some rest. You'll see, things will-

SQUALL: Shove it, Selphie!

SELPHIE: Tee-hee? Squall, I know this is just your way of venting.

SQUALL: Get bent.

SELPHIE: Fine!

(Selphie storms out. Squall stretches out on his bed.)

SQUALL: (thinking) What am I going to do…?

(falls asleep)

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Day 4

(Once again, Balamb Garden, Squall's dorm. Rinoa is standing beside Squall's bed where he lays sleeping.)

RINOA: (gently shaking Squall) Squall… Squall… Wake up. Something tells me today is going to be a great day!

(Squall quickly gets out of bed and starts dressing.)

RINOA: What's the big rush?

SQUALL: (buckling his many belts) No time for the Library today. We've got to hurry.

RINOA: Huh?

SQUALL: Rinoa, believe it or not this isn't the first day you've come here wanting to go to the Library.

RINOA: It isn't?

SQUALL: For some crazy reason this day keeps repeating itself. But don't worry Rinoa, I've almost got this all figured out.

RINOA: Have you been drinking?

(Squall grabbed Rinoa and sat her down on the bed.)

SQUALL: Stay here. 

RINOA: But-

(Squall was already running down the hall.)

(cut to Cafeteria)

(Zell is walking over to his table with a tray of hotdogs. Squall knocked the tray from his hands, stomped on the hotdogs, and then ran off.)

ZELL: Damn it!

(cut to Training Center)

(Irvine is getting ready to shot a T-Rexaur.)

SQUALL: Irvine don't use that gun!

IRVINE: Squall, I'm a little busy here.

(Squall took Irvine's gun and tossed it aside.)

SQUALL: Trust me, you don't want it.

IRVINE: I was trying to fight! What's your problem?

(Annoyed by the lack of fighting and attention, the T-Rexaur ran out of the Training Center.)

IRVINE: My monster!

(Squall and Irvine stare blankly at the Training Center entrance listening to the shouts from outside. Quistis' scream can be heard. Xu runs in.)

XU: Commander, a runaway T-Rexaur just ate Quistis!

(Squall stomps angrily on the ground.)

SQUALL: Damn it! Damn it! Damn it!

XU: (to Irvine) Is he okay?

(Later that night…Squall and Selphie again.)

SELPHIE: (gently) Squall, try to get some rest. You'll see, things will be better tomorrow. Trust me.

SQUALL: (oddly optimistic) They sure will! I'll make sure of it!

SELPHIE: That's the spirit! TEE-HEE!

(Selphie leaves and Squall lays down.)

SQUALL: (thinking) I'll beat this yet.

(falls asleep)


	2. Part 2

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Squall's Bad Day

Day 5

(Balamb Garden, Squall's dorm. Rinoa is standing beside Squall's bed where he lays sleeping.)

RINOA: (gently shaking Squall) Squall… Squall… Wake up. Something tells me today is going to be a great day!

(Squall's eyes opened and he jumped out of bed.)

SQUALL: Damn right!

(Squall began to quickly dress.)

RINOA: Squall? I thought maybe we could-

SQUALL: Don't have the time!

RINOA: Huh?

SQUALL: I have to stop the day from starting over again!

RINOA: Have you been drinking?

SQUALL: Just stay here!

(Squall ran off leaving a puzzled Rinoa behind.)

(cut to Cafeteria)

(Zell has just sat don with his tray. Squall runs over, takes the tray, and throws it into the trashcan.)

ZELL: The hell?!

(Squall runs off.)

(cut to Training Center.)

(Irvine is about to shoot the T-Rexaur when Squall runs in and uses Lion Heart (on the creature, not Irvine.)

IRVINE: Hey! What do you think you're doing!?

(Squall takes Irvine's gun and tosses it aside. Rinoa, Zell, and Quistis run into the Training Center.)

QUISTIS: Squall, Rinoa and Zell told me you're acting strangely. I have to agree, you seem a bit off today.

SQUALL: Don't worry, I fixed everything. (sigh of relief) Rinoa's here and Zell's here…Irvine didn't blow up…

(Everyone looks at Squall like he's a mental patient.)

SQUALL: Quistis wasn't eaten…And Selphie…Selphie's…

(Squall grabbed Quistis by her shoulders and started shaking her.)

SQUALL: Where's Selphie?! Where?! 

(The lights of Balamb Garden suddenly went out.)

SQUALL: SELPHIE!!!!

(Red emergency lights came on. Dr. Kadowaki ran into the Training Center.)

DR. KADOWAKI: Squall! Selphie was playing on my computer and she accidentally downloaded a virus! It's destroying Balamb's entire computer system! Unless you can stop it we'll lose everything!

(Squall screamed.)

SQUALL: Why couldn't Selphie just die like everybody else?!

RINOA: Squall!

(Squall walked off.)

RINOA: Squall, where are you going?

SQUALL: To bed!

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Day 6

(Balamb Garden, Squall's dorm. Rinoa is standing beside Squall's bed where he lays sleeping.)

RINOA: (gently shaking Squall) Squall… Squall… Wake up. Something tells me today is going to be a great day!

(Squall sat up and stared at Rinoa.)

SQUALL: Oh, no you don't. I know your sick game and I'm not playing.

RINOA: Squall? What's wrong?

SQUALL: You're not getting me today! Mwahahaha!

(Squall picked up his gunblade from beside his bed and shoved it through Rinoa.)

RINOA: Squ…all…

(Rinoa fell over. Squall fluffed his pillow and laid back down. He closed his eyes and smiled.)

SQUALL: (thinking) I've finally got this figured out.

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Day 7

(Balamb Garden, Squall's dorm. Rinoa is standing beside Squall's bed where he lays sleeping.)

RINOA: (gently shaking Squall) Squall… Squall… Wake up. Something tells me today is going to be a great day!

SQUALL: Out of my way!

(Squall lept out of bed, knocking over Rinoa, and ran out the door.

RINOA: Squall! Come back! You're only wearing boxers!

(cut to Zell's dorm)

(Squall bursts into the room and begins rummaging through Zell's stuff. Squall looks under Zell's bed.)

SQUALL: Found it!

(Squall pulls out a T-Board.)

(cut to hallway)

(Squall is flying through the halls of Balamb Garden on a T-Board. Many students and staff have stopped to watch.)

(cut to Cafeteria)

(Squall flies by Zell. He takes his tray and puts it in the trashcan.)

ZELL: That's my T-Board! And my hotdogs! (shakes head) I really need to start eating at home.

(cut to Training Center)

(Irvine has started to battle the T-Rexaur. Squall takes his gun and throws it into the T-Rexaur's mouth. The T-Rexaur roars and the gun explodes taking the T-Rexaur with it. Irvine is covered in T-Rexaur guts.)

IRVINE: Squall! I'm going to get you for that!

(Squall flies off.)

(cut to Dr. Kadowaki's office.)

(Selphie is happily typing away at Dr. Kadowaki's laptop.)

SELPHIE: Tee-hee! I just got my first e-mail! I can't wait read to it!

(Squall flies in on the T-Board.)

DR. KADOWAKI: Squall?

(Squall jumps off the T-Board and lands on top of the laptop, preventing Selphie from checking her mail.)

SELPHIE: Heeey!

SQUALL: (out of breath) I did it…I saved the day… (falls asleep)

(Quistis, Zell, Rinoa, and Irvine run into Dr. Kadowaki's office.)

Q/Z/R/I: Where's Squall?!

(Selphie and Dr. Kadowaki point to the desk. Squall is sound asleep with a slight smile on his face. There is a long awkward silence.)

ZELL: So…Who votes we get a new commander?

(Everyone raises their hand.)

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THE END!


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